Laying My Heart Bare

The past week and a half has been somewhat of a whirlwind.

every once in a while I remember that I am in Africa and my mind is blown.

The past couple years of my life have been life changing, every year I learn something amazing about God and it has changed the direction of my life. But in these past 3 years, I have never been  so helpless. so weak. so overwhelmed.

The truth that I have been clinging too this past week and a half is that those He calls to His service He will equip. What an amazing and encouraging truth. He will equip me for this year, whatever it may bring, because He has called me here.

Don't read me wrong, I love it here! I am not complaining or saying that things should be different. I am, in fact, Praising God for bring me to the place in my life where each and every day I have nothing and no one else to depend on but Him. 

My strength and experience is no longer enough.  

And that my friends is humbling.

Today we are having the official tryouts for the drama ministry I am directing. Born Again to a Living Hope. I love this ministry and I was so blessed to be a part of it in Hungary. But this is a whole new adventure for me. Being in charge of a ministry, I am realizing daily, is...humbling. I am only 19 and I have never done some of the things that I am now responsible to do. God has given me this position but I am seeing clearly that He did so to make HIS name great! 

He placed me here:

in the center of my passion

 made me the weakest I have ever been 

because He is a GOOD God. 

Please pray for me. I am so excited to see what GOD does in this ministry and in my life this year. 

Pray for brokenness.

Pray for wisdom.

Pray for pure motives.

Pray for the name of Jesus to be magnified.

Stuck in the Mud

Friday was an adventure.

I arrived to my new residence and met Christy Page at about 9:30am. I left with Christy at about 9:31am to go with her to pick up 13 children. These beautiful African children were coming over for a pool party. Most of them share a tiny apartment(if you can call it that) with 2 or more other families. The women are breed to make babies but have no real way to provide for them. It broke my heart, but the children filled that broken heart with all the love they could muster from their lives of pain. Their smiles brightened the sky brighter than the hot African sun and their laughter was like a cool breeze in the midst of that warm sunny day.

We took them home and Christy, CJ (her son), Chae(her daughter), Alex (a 14 year old white South African with a verbally abusive home), and myself went to a youth leaders meeting. It was a long meeting combined with jet lag, but about 5pm we headed to drop Alex off at home.

Now HERE'S where it gets interesting.

It is summer here in Africa and it is also the rainy season. Thunderstorms come brilliantly in the afternoon, sometimes multiple times a day, cooling down the air and leaving the ground soaked.

Alex lives down a dirt road.

I am sure you can see where this is going.

We drove down in our 15 passenger van and Alex got out. We proceeded to back down the dirt drive way when the inevitable happened.

We got stuck in the mud.



At first CJ got out to inspect the damage. It didn't look promising. I followed, taking of my shoes and being very aware of my nice white tank top. We tried pushing, but to no avail. We called Alex and tried pushing. Still not even a budge. We place car mats under the tires so it could gain some traction. Nothing. Eventually, CJ, Alex, Alex's grumpy stepfather, Alex's passive mother, and myself were all digging and pushing and adjusting everything we could.

It is now 6pm and the rain is coming. We could hear the thunder in the distance and we knew if it hit us we would never get out.

Slightly panicked, we continued to dig and spin tires. Burning rubber and squishing mud between our toes. 6:30pm came and passed and 7pm was 5 minutes away. The rain was even closer and Christy had called her husband John to come pull us out with the other 15 passenger van.

He arrived and pulled down the driveway but had to be cautious that he too didn't end up in the mud. Attaching a rope to the car he pulled, we pushed and we made some progress. He got in the van and thought he could maneuver his way out.

and Praise the Lord, just as the first rain drop hit my cheek, he had rocked the van enough to pull out of the ditch and onto dry, soild ground!

On top of that all, my white tank top stayed white (which can not be said about Christy's)

The rain came and washed away any sign that their had been a struggle and we went on our way.

 Since then, my adventures have been a little less muddy, but have included moving into a loft with 5 wonderfully loud and crazy South African girls of which I am the discipler and authority figure! AH a lot of changes and responsibilty but Praise God He knows what He is doing!

This week is kind of the adjusting week as we welcomed our 5 guys and 5 girls who are living with us to attend a local Bible Insitute. Next week, I will start my new job as the director of Born Again!!

Please continue to pray as I feel overwhelmed with my duties and underqualified. I guess this is a good place to be in huh? 2 Corinthians 12:9

The Adventure Begins

Oh where to start?

At this moment I am sitting in my office at WOL South Africa! I can't praise God enough for the adventures He has put in my life to bring me to the place I am at now! I was reading through my journal last night and the beginning starts with my second summer in Korea and goes through WOL Hungary, my summer in FL and I have now started to journal about this new chapter of my life. I couldn't help but smile, and sometimes laugh out loud, at some of the experiences I have had, the people I have met, foods I have eaten, and times I have gotten lost! But even more interesting is my spiritual journey over these 3 years. I couldn't even recognize myself a points in my journal (which is a good thing) and I can NOT thank the Savior enough for growing me and shaping me more into the image of His Son! I am no where close to where I desire to be and I know I have much more to learn and more areas to grow in! But praise our God because He is faithful and will continue this work in me until the day I stand before Him! (Phil. 1:6)

A year ago today, I had no idea where I would be now. I knew very little about WOLSA and I had only inquired briefly about the ministry. It's hard to put into words how overwhelmed I am (in a good way) by the provision and faithfulness of God.

I am living in the Page's home (director's of WOLSA) with 5 girls who are attending a bible program through WOLSA. I will be leading devo's and will be in some ways responsible for the room. I am not sure right now what a day will look like and a schedule won't probably be consistent until sometime next week when schools start back up! Right now I am just along for the ride, meeting other staff members and getting familiar with the culture. Handshakes aren't an appropriate greeting here in South Africa. A hug is the usual greeting, but often times (the more someone has a relationship with you) a kiss of the cheek is common. I was also warned that as the older women become more comfortable around me and accept me they will most likely kiss smack on the lips..can't say I look forward to that :)

I am so thankful to be here and be part of a growing ministry focused on the gospel of Christ. I know this year will be one that I grow closer to my savior and I will get to know Him so much more through this experience.
One of my favorite verses right now is Philippians 3:10-12

I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Please pray for me as I am still adjusting and meeting people! Thank you for your prayers and support!

55 days.

Just wanted to update those who read this on the progress in this trip!

I bought a plane ticket last weekend! Praise God for the way He is making my path straight. I got a great price on the ticket and I leave on Jan. 9th at 5:30pm!

That's in 55 days!!

I need $3254.30 but a better way to put it is that the Lord has, in His sovereignty, provided $6745.70! I am overwhelmed as I look back a few short months ago and the mountain this support seemed to be! God is so faithful and He has proven that through the way he has provided for me!

Continue to join with me in prayer that the rest of my estimated support will come in before I leave. (the sooner the better ;)

I also could use your prayer support as I just found out I need a visa before I go. I am not sure how difficult this process usually is, but just pray that God will continue to make my path straight as I follow Him to Africa!

Short, sweet, informative! Thank you for your prayers dear friends!

Jehovah Jireh

God our provider.

What an encouraging thought. The same God who created the world we live in, who formed us and knew us before time, who offered His son as a living sacrifice, provides all we need!

This fact has been made known in my life recently as I am trying to raise the support I need for Africa. I sent out my support letters and my home church is supporting me, but it has been through my job and random people that God has shown himself lately.

As a waitress I work on commission. If I serve well, I am tipped well. Kind of an unsettling feeling sometimes. The other day I was working and it was extremely slow. Not many people were coming in which meant as waitresses we weren't going to be making much money. At the end of the night, most of the servers had made $25-30, some of them for a whole day's work.

I had made almost $100.

I told my dad this story and said I didn't understand why I had made so much compared to everyone else. He simply spoke this wisdom, " God is blessing you in your job to provide for the plan He has for you" WOW. Why hadn't I thought of that? Why didn't it hit me that God WAS answering my prayers?

Overwhelmed by God's grace, I praise Him for providing even when, in my weakness, I doubt Him.

Short and sweet. I just wanted to share with you how my Savior's faithfulness is being made known in my life in regards to this journey to South Africa!

Praise the Lord, may His will be done!

He paid my bill

I was at work last night.
It was a particularly long Monday night shift and I was begging in my heart for my Savior to show up in some way. Skeptical that my prayer would be answered, I continued serving food to the many hungry people that came across my path. All along, my heart aching for the gospel. Not in the way that "I needed to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus again", but more in a "desire to have my heart melted by the gospel that saved me from an eternity in hell" kind of way.

It was bothering me that I was able to go day to day without being overwhelmed by the redemption given to me.

It was coming to the close of my evening when I was sat with one last table. A beautiful lady and her teenage daughter. They were very friendly and easy to talk to. I took care of their order and when I brought their salads, the women said this to me...

"Nicole, do you see that couple behind you?"
 (a young couple, most likely right out of high school, with a baby)
"I want to pay for their meal without them knowing, can you help me do that?"

I was shocked and excited all at once. I told her we would make it happen and we did. She took care of their quite expensive dinner bill and also gave a generous tip to their waitress. She told me she didn't want them to know who paid the bill and she and her daughter continued on their road trip home.
I had the privilege to go with the couple's waitress to tell them the news.

I will never forget the look on their faces. The shear gratitude that beamed from their smiles was enough to bring tears to my eyes.

And... that. was. just. dinner.

I think about my Savior and the way He died for me. I remember the fact that he took all my sin, guilt, emotional pain, fears, and shame upon himself so I didn't have to pay the consequences.

Christ paid my bill. What an overwhelming thought.

The gratitude that that couple felt over a paid dinner bill should pale in comparison to the gratitude we as believers feel when we daily remember the cost of our sins and the fact the He paid the bill.



His will be done!

Nicole.

Agape Love, Our Savior's Compassion.

What is love? This was the question that started off Pastor Nathan's sermon today. What is true, unrestrained, agape love? Opening God's Word to 1 John 3:16 provided a wonderful, yet convicting truth. "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters."  Christ laid down His life for us, taking on all the pain and guilt of the world's sin motivated out of love and grace. AND we ought to also lay down our lives... What does that mean? What does that look like in my life? I wish I could recount the entire message word by word and tell you each moment of conviction I had. Instead, I will summarize my thoughts...but first let me rewind a bit.

Some may be asking, what is the purpose of this blog? Since I was young, the Lord laid on my heart and passion for world missions globally, and recently, locally. After spending a year in Hungary at the Word of Life Bible Institute, the Lord opened a door to South Africa. I will be going into more detail about ministry opportunities etc. throughout this journey. But the main goal of this blog is to bring glory to One who is our "hope of glory" (Col.1:27) Christ. I hope you will pray with me and rejoice with me in the work God does in my life and, by His grace, through my life.

Lord willing, I will be leaving to Africa in January, but the journey of faith starts long before I board that plane.

Since I have been home, the Lord has been fine-tuning the concept of His love. His love should define my life, I know that. But what is love? It's something that I have been wrestling with to understand, only to again come the conclusion that I will NEVER understand it. But before I head to Africa to proclaim boldly the name of Christ, the Lord has been teaching me what it means to lay down my life in love. Sacrificing more than just my time and money, but my desires and "earthly security". Coming to grips with the concept of surrendering my life, not just in the idea of death, but in the day-to-day life. 1 John has been a blessing in this time. God is slowly re-revealing His love to me and I am so grateful for a God of second chances. Read 1 John if you haven't, and re-read it even if you have. Open your heart to what the Lord has for you in His word.

are you with me? I know I have jump around a bit.

I will be posting prayer requests and praises and stories of God's work as I follow His leading through this next year.

His will be done!

Nicole.