The Beginning of the End

This week has been filled with many painful "lasts".  I only have 12 days left and the goodbyes have started.

Friday was our last ALIVE youth meeting!

We had a formal dinner

And we wrapped up our relationships series with a wonderful lesson by BMW missionaries Brady and Candy Farr.



Then after our dinner at youth, all the girls went to the Meyer's house for a sleepover (or rather "stay-awake). We had tons of junk food and chick-flicks. Many laughs and memories!!

Sunday was my last Sunday at my local church. I had the privilege of writing and directing their annual Carols by Candlelight! I have been so blessed by the ministry at Sandton Bible Church and my heart is sore to leave their fellowship!

Tuesday was my last night at our Small Group Bible Study. A lady in our group is pregnant so we had a combined going-away/ baby shower party. 

Can't believe how quickly this year has gone by! As excited as I am to come home and be with dear family and friends, I am not to excited to leave my family and friends here. 

bitter-sweet. 

and at the moment, mostly bitter.

The Break-In

This morning at 5:15am we were woken up by a loud banging on our front door.  I brushed it off and went back to sleep. A couple minutes later, it sounded like everyone in the house was up. Again, I brushed it off and dozed back to sleep. When I did get out of bed, I was told that we had all slept through a robbery.

About 4am some guys jumped our fence. Luckily, the house was locked up tight, but they did pop two barred widows and stole stuff off the computer desk that was in arms reach. They broke into our shed and into two cars and stole coke out of our fridge in the back. No one heard anything. A couple security guards caught them toting our stuff a ways away. They confiscated the goods but had no idea who it all belonged too. Praise the Lord that the guys had taken our GPS because the security guards were able to punch in "home" and brought almost all that was stolen back!

Praise God that we are all safe and all but Chae's  iPod was returned.


Please keep us in prayer, tonight especially. Now it is known that our electric fence isn't working and there is a cloud of anxiety floating over our heads. We are taking extra precautions and we know that God is control! 

from my heart

I was planning on writing a post on the missions conference that we had at my church this past weekend.

However...

 I am really needing to speak my heart. 

I am struggling today to comprehend the love of God. Not that, on any other day, my finite mind is able to understand the depths to which He loves me. But today seems exceptionally difficult. 

I have listened to the same song this morning probably 4 or 5 times. It's by Aaron Shust and it's called "Still You Love Me" Read these lyrics and weep with me. 

I've never felt, so undeserving

Then when You called out for me

I've never been, more unworthy

When You reached down for me

I'm lifting hands, stained and dirty

To touch my Savior's face

And I know now, I am touching grace

You see everything I do

And still You love me

'Cause You hear everything I say

And still You want me

'Cause You know all my darkest secrets

That I try so hard to hide

You know everything I am

And still You love me

Still You love me

Amazing love, how can it be

That You would die for me?

Amazing grace, oh the mystery

My blinded eyes now see

When I fall, when I stumble

I struggle to my feet

Just to find, grace is lifting me

You see everything I do

And still You love me

'Cause You hear everything I say

And still You want me

'Cause You know all my darkest secrets

That I try so hard to hide

You know everything I am

And still You love me

Still You love me

There's nothing I can say

To make You turn away

There's nowhere I can go

You're never far away

(You see everything I do

And still You love me

'Cause You hear everything I say

And still You want me)

You see everything I do

And still You love me

'Cause You hear everything I say

And still You want me

'Cause You know all my darkest secrets

That I try so hard to hide

You know everything I am

And still You love me

(Still You love me)

Still You love me

Still You love me

Don't get me wrong. I'm not dwelling in self-pity. I'm not writing this from my heart because of how unworthy I am and how much that bothers me. I sing this song and I am overwhelmed by the unconditional love of God. He knows everything I do, everything I say and think and He still loves me. I am sure if I sat here and revealed some of my darkest secrets, I would lose a couple friends. But the creator God, the Almighty, Infinite, Powerful God sees me live the life that He bought with His blood as if He doesn't exist. He hears my selfish thoughts and groans as I trample the grace He gives freely with my prideful, self-sufficient actions. All of this and so much more, and instead of turning His face, instead of walking away, instead of giving me what I deserve, He loves me. seriously. Is this not blowing your mind right now?

Why am I so content to live without acknowledging the love of God? 

A couple of minutes ago, a dear lady from my church, who recently lost her husband, just provided 3 dinners for the 20 people who live here at Word of Life. She is always looking for opportunities to be a blessing to people and I pray that God would give me the same love for serving as Mary has. I was thinking about the love that she has shown us and what an incredible blessing it is. I am truly overwhelmed by her example. 

Mary is a woman of God, and her act of love and service has me amazed. But God is God, His love is unconditional, His service is perfect. He is perfect. In comparison to what God has done for us, Mary's blessing pales. Why doesn't God's love for me evoke the same gratitude as the sacrifice of Mary?

Something is seriously wrong if I can go throughout a day, a moment, without living in gratitude for the love of my Savior.

Time Flies

I am approaching  home stretch here with three months to go in my internship. It's hard to believe how fast this year has gone by and how in a blink of the eye I will be back in the states! 

These three months hold a lot for such a short amount of time. Summer is approaching quickly and that means camp! We have been meeting quite regularly to plan our end of year camps in December. We have camps over the next several weekends and in October we will be planning and putting on 2 Olympian Games Days. 

The 10 students that live here are on holiday for the next several weeks, so the house is quiet and empty. 

My parents are coming at the end of October to visit and we will take a trip to Cape Town then!

I am in the middle of my second to last semester with LU online! Please pray for me as I continue to work on school work in the midst of camp busyness. 

I am still struggling physically. Continuing to see doctors and get blood taken! They have pretty much ruled out the iron as the cause for my lack of strength and extreme fatigue. We've ruled out a lot of other things it could be and next step is a brain scan to rule out MS. The doctors are pretty sure it's not MS but need to rule it out before we can move on. I bought an energy tonic recommended by my doctor here today so hopefully that will mask the symptom of fatigue until we can figure out what is causing it. Prayers are appreciated greatly!!

Please also keep my in prayer as my heart is with my family. We are going through a rough time within the family and it's very hard to be so far away from them during this time. I know my presence would not change the situation but that knowledge doesn't make it much easier. I am learning (again!) how to trust the Lord with my family and it's a hard lesson to learn. Just pray that it doesn't distract me from what the Lord has for me here these last 3 months. 

Hebrews 12:1-4

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted.  In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 

It's been an exciting three weeks!!

The past three weeks have been an incredible blur of ministry. It's times like these that I am refreshed in my love for serving the Lord.

About three weeks ago, a small team of us went to South Coast to do a three day youth camp. We were told that the age range would be from 14 to 22 years old but it turned out that the age range was closer to 6mo. to 60year old. So our youth camp turned quickly into a family camp.That weekend is a bit hard to describe.

The first night that we were there, I found their charismatic worship sessions to be entertaining and exciting, but the deeper we got into the charismatic aspects of the different churches represented the more uncomfortable I became. We were faced with many doctrinal challenges that weekend, from speaking in tongues, to being judged for wearing pants as women. God really stretched me in those three days.

We arrived home on Monday evening and that next Friday night we were headed back out for a week of ministry. It was what WOL calls SMASH (Students Ministering and Serving Him) and it's a week of ministry where we take youth from our local churches and train them to serve. We were split into two teams, one team went to a primarily Zulu speaking church and the team I was on went to a multicultural church. We attended church on Sunday and then starting Monday we were directly involved with their Holiday Bible Club (VBS). After the morning of HBC we would then spend another couple hours training the youth and young adults of the church in spending time in God's Word and the command to evangelize. I was sick the majority of the week but God used that time to reaffirm the lesson I have been learning in relying on the Lord's strength completely. We had many salvation decisions and an awesome time training and learning together with the local churches we were with.

We arrived home from Durban on Saturday night and on Monday morning 6:30am we were at my local church in Jo-burg for their annual HBC. I was excited to be involved with the church I attend and again the Lord stretched me. 

I was asked on Sunday to be involved in their drama as one of the lead characters. If you know me you will understand my excitement. I also was a small group leader with a co-leader from a missions team (in SA for 2 weeks). Unfortunately, because of my extensive involvement with the drama, my time with the girls in my group was minimal. After the first couple days, I felt discouraged because I wasn't having a direct impact in the lives of these precious girls. But God, continuing to break me down, reminded me that I don't impact them anyways, it's God who is in control. My ministry this last week consisted of more prayer than anything else, and I praise God for getting my priorities realigned.  

This weekend, we have a team of American high school students coming to spend about 2 weeks with us in ministry. Please keep us in your prayers!

This past Monday, I had the awesome opportunity to experience a safari.  Here are a couple pictures...

This picture above is a male lion and the scary part is, we were standing in the open, if he had wanted to, he probably could have eaten us...yeah no big deal.

Health Update!

            Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement over the past month! So many of you sent me messages filled with great advice on how to fight IDA and I am so thankful God has placed so many wonderful people in my life!

   I have been making progress in my health, there are still bad days but they are fewer than previously. I picked up Iron Supplements and have been taking them twice daily and I can tell that they have been giving me more energy.



I also have made a lot of changes in my diet. I am learning how to make it easier and quicker to eat healthier. I can tell in the morning whether or not what I ate the day before was beneficial. I have a list of foods I know are rich in iron and I am incorporating them into every meal. I have trained my mind to think "spinach, spinach, spinach." and surprisingly you can put spinach in pretty much anything!!
I have yet worked up the courage to try the chicken liver sitting in the freezer...


I had my blood tested and my iron level is on the low side. I will continue on the supplements and diet and hopefully within the next few weeks I will feel healthy and energetic. My doctor has expressed concerns that if in the next 2 weeks I still get worn out easily and have little energy there may be something else wrong. So please keep praying!


God is teaching me a lot through this challenge. I am truly learning how to rely on him when I don't have anything else. I wake up in the morning and cry out to the Lord for strength and energy. My intimacy with the Lord has grown so much over the past couple months and I believe this is just another step closer to a beautiful relationship with God!!

2 Corinthians 2:9  "..but this happened that I might not rely on myself but on God who raises the dead."

Health Problems.

I am writing to ask for your prayers.

Over the last few weeks, my health has been slowly deteriorating. I have had Iron Deficiency Anemia for as long as I can remember, but it hasn't affected my daily life until just recently. 


What Iron Deficiency Anemia means is that basically I just lack the amount of iron my body needs for function properly. It didn't seem like a serious problem and I had kind of forgotten about it until I got my blood tested for Malaria in March. A doctor friend here in South Africa called me with the results of my blood test and told me that I was lacking a subsequent amount of iron and that I should consider iron supplements.


 It wasn't until I got back from Hungary that I started to see the change in my body. I began to feel incredibly weak and I lacked energy to do anything. I was fatigued and my body just didn't feel right. I began to look into Iron Deficiency Anemia more online and found that it could turn into a more serious health issue if I didn't take care of my body now. It is flaring up now due to the lack of iron in my diet. I assume it never effected me before because of my healthier diet.


I have begun to make as many dietary changes as possible in the circumstances I am in, and iron supplements are on my list to buy. But I am finding it to be a big challenge to eat properly as buying my own food is not in the support budget.


I am also getting discouraged! My body isn't responding yet to the dietary changes I have made and I am just so frustrated with feeling so weak and tired all the time. I know it will take time but it is really discouraging. 


Today is a bad day, and I guess that's what triggered me to ask for your prayers. Being in this state physically is draining, and it is having a direct affect on my ministry.


God has been growing me so much while I have been here, and I believe this is another trial in the process of me being shaped into the image of His son. I truly covet your prayers during this time! 

Long Over-due Update

These past few months have been a whirlwind! I am so excited to share with you what I have been doing over the past months and share with you a few prayer requests!

Within the first few days of being here in SA, I was already involved in getting the property ready for 10 students to join us. These 5 guys and 5 girls are studying at a Bible school through my local church here and Word of Life has partnered with them in the aspects of housing and discipleship.  I live in the upstairs of the main house with the 5 young ladies. Ntombi, Cremelda, Aneesah, Shelia, and Thobile.  My main focus for the first couple weeks was getting to know these girls because one of my purposes in being here is discipleship. I am blessed to have this daily ministry with these girls! We do devotions throughout the week and spend time in ministry together on the weekends! God is already doing a work in their lives, I am just blessed to be here in the midst!

So I am sure you can imagine, this house is quite busy. On any given day there can be up to 21 people staying and eating here. We have dinner crews, where approx. 4 people prepare and clean up dinner. I am the crew leader for Thursday nights! It has been a challenge, but a good experience, learning to cook for 20 people!

My main goal and purpose in coming to South Africa was to work with the ministry called Born Again to a Living Hope. It is a drama depicting the pain and suffering coming from addictions and the saving and freeing hope we can have in Christ! It has been an incredible journey from trying to find people to be involved, to scheduling practices, to figuring out costumes, and finally performing! The picture you see is of our first performance at Battlezone Camp.  Our desire is to be able to perform in schools and orphanages over the rest of the year, Lord willing, starting in May. Please continue to pray for us in this ministry! It is a new ministry and we are in what we call the “birthing pains” stage.  I believe God will use this drama to change lives! Please pray for me specifically, I know God has called me here and therefore He will equip me, but it is defiantly a growing process!

I recently had the opportunity to travel to Mozambique and serve alongside WOL Mozambique at camp. We had about 46 campers from higher class international families.  We were located at a beautiful campsite right on the Indian Ocean! The campers were incredibly calloused and spoiled, but I know God worked in many lives that week.  A young lady named Melissa in my cabin got saved as well as a young Muslim boy named Sod. Please pray for both of them as they grow in their faith. Sod’s families, in his own words, are extremists, so please lift him up as he now has the daunting challenge of telling them of his conversion.  Please also pray for the leaders of WOL Mozambique, Carlos and Zeza, as they continue to work for the Lord’s glory in a difficult environment!

After camp we had the opportunity of seeing more of authentic Mozambique. Poverty and sickness were the two themes I saw as we ministered in a local bible club and visited a market. It was truly and eye-opener of just how desperately people need a savior! My heart broke for these children. They were wearing torn dirty clothing, the smelled bad; they had fungus growing on their heads and no one showing them love. I thank God for the opportunity I had to visit Mozambique and the change of perspective it gave me!   Thank you for your prayers and support! I think God is using Africa to change me more than he is using me to change Africa.

 Just a couple major prayer requests:

Ø  For me, as I serve in youth at my local church.

Ø  Born Again performances in schools

Ø  Strength and wisdom in ministry

 “Such confidence we have through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.”   -2 Corinthians 3:4 & 5

Ministries, Ministries, and more Ministries! :)

Just wanted to update you on what has been going on here at WOL South Africa.

Ministries are in full swing. I have had the opportunity to be involved in a couple Micro F1 evangelistic ministries,

 I am a small group leader for the youth at my local church, I help in a youth meeting on Tuesday nights, and God has blessed me with 5 beautiful girls in my room that I constantly have the privilege to pour into! Ministry wise, I am not lacking :) 

We have had several Born Again practices and things are coming together nicely! It's awesome to see how God is working to bring everything together. We had a big practice Saturday and our dress rehearsal is on Monday, March 5th. Our first performance, Lord willing, is on April 2nd!  Please be in prayer for Born Again, this is God's ministry and I am so thankful just to have a small part. 

We had a minor break in this weekend. The first break in here at WOL SA. A couple bikes were stolen but the damage is minor. We believe it happened Sunday when no one was on campus. Please be in prayer for our safety. Whoever broke in now knows that our electric fence is broken and they may attempt a more intense break in.  

I have made some wonderful new friendships and I can't say I am ever bored. 

Thank you for your prayers!! I look forward to seeing God's continued work in my life and in the ministries here at WOL South Africa!

Laying My Heart Bare

The past week and a half has been somewhat of a whirlwind.

every once in a while I remember that I am in Africa and my mind is blown.

The past couple years of my life have been life changing, every year I learn something amazing about God and it has changed the direction of my life. But in these past 3 years, I have never been  so helpless. so weak. so overwhelmed.

The truth that I have been clinging too this past week and a half is that those He calls to His service He will equip. What an amazing and encouraging truth. He will equip me for this year, whatever it may bring, because He has called me here.

Don't read me wrong, I love it here! I am not complaining or saying that things should be different. I am, in fact, Praising God for bring me to the place in my life where each and every day I have nothing and no one else to depend on but Him. 

My strength and experience is no longer enough.  

And that my friends is humbling.

Today we are having the official tryouts for the drama ministry I am directing. Born Again to a Living Hope. I love this ministry and I was so blessed to be a part of it in Hungary. But this is a whole new adventure for me. Being in charge of a ministry, I am realizing daily, is...humbling. I am only 19 and I have never done some of the things that I am now responsible to do. God has given me this position but I am seeing clearly that He did so to make HIS name great! 

He placed me here:

in the center of my passion

 made me the weakest I have ever been 

because He is a GOOD God. 

Please pray for me. I am so excited to see what GOD does in this ministry and in my life this year. 

Pray for brokenness.

Pray for wisdom.

Pray for pure motives.

Pray for the name of Jesus to be magnified.

Stuck in the Mud

Friday was an adventure.

I arrived to my new residence and met Christy Page at about 9:30am. I left with Christy at about 9:31am to go with her to pick up 13 children. These beautiful African children were coming over for a pool party. Most of them share a tiny apartment(if you can call it that) with 2 or more other families. The women are breed to make babies but have no real way to provide for them. It broke my heart, but the children filled that broken heart with all the love they could muster from their lives of pain. Their smiles brightened the sky brighter than the hot African sun and their laughter was like a cool breeze in the midst of that warm sunny day.

We took them home and Christy, CJ (her son), Chae(her daughter), Alex (a 14 year old white South African with a verbally abusive home), and myself went to a youth leaders meeting. It was a long meeting combined with jet lag, but about 5pm we headed to drop Alex off at home.

Now HERE'S where it gets interesting.

It is summer here in Africa and it is also the rainy season. Thunderstorms come brilliantly in the afternoon, sometimes multiple times a day, cooling down the air and leaving the ground soaked.

Alex lives down a dirt road.

I am sure you can see where this is going.

We drove down in our 15 passenger van and Alex got out. We proceeded to back down the dirt drive way when the inevitable happened.

We got stuck in the mud.



At first CJ got out to inspect the damage. It didn't look promising. I followed, taking of my shoes and being very aware of my nice white tank top. We tried pushing, but to no avail. We called Alex and tried pushing. Still not even a budge. We place car mats under the tires so it could gain some traction. Nothing. Eventually, CJ, Alex, Alex's grumpy stepfather, Alex's passive mother, and myself were all digging and pushing and adjusting everything we could.

It is now 6pm and the rain is coming. We could hear the thunder in the distance and we knew if it hit us we would never get out.

Slightly panicked, we continued to dig and spin tires. Burning rubber and squishing mud between our toes. 6:30pm came and passed and 7pm was 5 minutes away. The rain was even closer and Christy had called her husband John to come pull us out with the other 15 passenger van.

He arrived and pulled down the driveway but had to be cautious that he too didn't end up in the mud. Attaching a rope to the car he pulled, we pushed and we made some progress. He got in the van and thought he could maneuver his way out.

and Praise the Lord, just as the first rain drop hit my cheek, he had rocked the van enough to pull out of the ditch and onto dry, soild ground!

On top of that all, my white tank top stayed white (which can not be said about Christy's)

The rain came and washed away any sign that their had been a struggle and we went on our way.

 Since then, my adventures have been a little less muddy, but have included moving into a loft with 5 wonderfully loud and crazy South African girls of which I am the discipler and authority figure! AH a lot of changes and responsibilty but Praise God He knows what He is doing!

This week is kind of the adjusting week as we welcomed our 5 guys and 5 girls who are living with us to attend a local Bible Insitute. Next week, I will start my new job as the director of Born Again!!

Please continue to pray as I feel overwhelmed with my duties and underqualified. I guess this is a good place to be in huh? 2 Corinthians 12:9

The Adventure Begins

Oh where to start?

At this moment I am sitting in my office at WOL South Africa! I can't praise God enough for the adventures He has put in my life to bring me to the place I am at now! I was reading through my journal last night and the beginning starts with my second summer in Korea and goes through WOL Hungary, my summer in FL and I have now started to journal about this new chapter of my life. I couldn't help but smile, and sometimes laugh out loud, at some of the experiences I have had, the people I have met, foods I have eaten, and times I have gotten lost! But even more interesting is my spiritual journey over these 3 years. I couldn't even recognize myself a points in my journal (which is a good thing) and I can NOT thank the Savior enough for growing me and shaping me more into the image of His Son! I am no where close to where I desire to be and I know I have much more to learn and more areas to grow in! But praise our God because He is faithful and will continue this work in me until the day I stand before Him! (Phil. 1:6)

A year ago today, I had no idea where I would be now. I knew very little about WOLSA and I had only inquired briefly about the ministry. It's hard to put into words how overwhelmed I am (in a good way) by the provision and faithfulness of God.

I am living in the Page's home (director's of WOLSA) with 5 girls who are attending a bible program through WOLSA. I will be leading devo's and will be in some ways responsible for the room. I am not sure right now what a day will look like and a schedule won't probably be consistent until sometime next week when schools start back up! Right now I am just along for the ride, meeting other staff members and getting familiar with the culture. Handshakes aren't an appropriate greeting here in South Africa. A hug is the usual greeting, but often times (the more someone has a relationship with you) a kiss of the cheek is common. I was also warned that as the older women become more comfortable around me and accept me they will most likely kiss smack on the lips..can't say I look forward to that :)

I am so thankful to be here and be part of a growing ministry focused on the gospel of Christ. I know this year will be one that I grow closer to my savior and I will get to know Him so much more through this experience.
One of my favorite verses right now is Philippians 3:10-12

I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me.

Please pray for me as I am still adjusting and meeting people! Thank you for your prayers and support!